Unhappy about the way that the first round went Denver fans?
Blame Brandon Marshall…
At least you won’t need to throw your number 15 jersey away, you’ll just need to replace the last name on the back or put some tape on it.
So you’re an NFL owner, team is getting a little stale, little stagnant maybe– what to do?
Hire a younger coach, offensive guru, follow your Mike Shanahan blueprint, it worked immediately (check).
See, with this younger coach (Josh McDaniels) comes younger ideas; now the hotshot quarterback (Jay Cutler) you (Pat Bowlen) banked on two years ago… He’s got problems, he’s mad, a little diva esque even. He doesn’t want the new guy. Well, he’s cool with the new guy if you keep the other offensive guru you have on staff (Jeremy Bates); whom the hotshot had grown accustomed to.
Matter of fact all the young guns (Cutler, Marshall, Tony Scheffler); whom we’ll collectively refer to them as, are getting riled. They don’t own the plantation anymore, see the old coach who had been criticized his entire career for drafting poorly finally hit a home run and let the kids parent themselves. Trips to Atlanta to get their ‘timing’ down, alleged McDonald’s bags, I’m not going to get further into anything else. Let me just say this, shit got bad.
So as the head coach, you trade the ring leader. He’s talking through his manager (Bus Cook) and he’s running his mouth, you’ve seen what that manager had done to Green Bay (Brett Favre) and with your former team how the manager had been with a star receiver (Randy Moss). Your mentor (Bill Belichick) advised you to just steer clear of that managers clients. The manager’s a cancerous vulture, a blood sucker out only for largest 3% he can suck and there’s no renewal in the works for his hotshot quarterback client with you coaching the team.
So the deal is done quickly.
Now the team’s in turmoil, ain’t no way you’re winning any games, not with ol’ what’s his name from the Chicago Bears– didn’t he lose a quarterback battle to fucking Rex Grossman (good God!) of all people!?!
So now the rest of the young guns want out, but they don’t have the pull of the quarterback. So tell them to get in where they fit in and shut the hell up.
Now we draft. A running back, okay this is where you lose the fans. We have Peyton Hillis, why would anyone choose a running back when the only coaches that were retained from the old regime were the ones who coached the offensive line and the running backs? Get a guy out of free agency, get a guy out of a mother fuckin’ cell phone booth, but don’t draft him in the first round! Come on! Not with so much talent available…
Following the draft Marshall basically refuses to attend anything. So he’s suspended by you (the team), no preseason homie, not even a practice, either play ball or go home.
Then he decides he wants to play ball, then we win, and win, and win, and win, and win– because of him and win!
Tune in later today for part two.